So, I read one of the poems my friend sent me and it sparked my creativity. This particular article consists of my thoughts on the core theme of the post – Survival Vs. Growth; and the recurring questions – whether survival precedes growth or should growth be given more importance than survival? And the relevance of pain, suffering, happiness and satisfaction through the lens of community.

The first story I was reminded after thinking about these questions; is an experience narrated by our professor in college. She had attended a conference on women entrepreneurs. The chief guest was a lady who ran a small company on her own. In the question-answer session after the main event, many people from the audience asked the chief guest about the struggles she had to face while starting and maintaining the company.

When the lady answered that she did not face any major obstacles while achieving her dream and that she has had a happy and satisfying journey so far; majority of the audience stated doubting her ability and success (behind her back, of course!)

The incident I next remembered was narrated by famous film director, when he was giving an interview with other directors for promotion. The director accompanying him said some interesting lines while giving his speech : “True masterpiece is born only after one has experienced pain and suffering”.

Both these incidents show our tendency (not just the Indian society, but cultures all over the world) to glamorize and romanticize pain, suffering and struggle. if one has not gone through the kind of pain society considers acceptable and valid; the the person’s credibility and work is questioned.

All the time we have been told that suffering is good and essential; it helps us to build character; to achieve our goals in a true manner. Suffering and pain are seen as a sort of pre-requisite to produce something beautiful, great, unique and meaningful.

The more I think about the pre-established, societal frameworks of what kind of suffering is valid; the more it feels restricting. Suppose, a person has everything the “less fortunate ones” do not have. By the societal standards, that person then has nothing to be sad about. But what if that person wants to grow emotionally, intellectually; but cannot. Is the sadness induced from such a situation inferior?

What of a physically healthy person with no apparent monetary concerns, has been going through an identity crisis? Does that mean the person is not suffering because the pain does not fit the standards set by the society?

Why does the community and the socialization we receive from family and other primary agencies, guilt-trip individuals into believing that if their feelings do not coincide with the larger picture, they are invalid and inacceptable? What even is legitimate suffering?

Somebody is going to be in a better or worse position than we are right now. But does that negate our current feelings? if we feel happy over little things; is there a reason to be awkward because there are bigger things to be happy about? Similarly, if we feel sad, is there a reason to be guilty because there are other people who are in a more difficult position than us?

And finally, how does anyone differentiate between survival and growth? Sometimes the line between them becomes so thin that it gets difficult to separate the two.

Is growth possible without the desperate need to survive? If we think about the kind of survival every individual has to submit to, can we say that survival facilitates growth?

Or is growth possible without the backdrop of suffering, pain and their legitimacy?

Finally, can we say that growth and survival are the two sides of the same coin?